


Quite Continental

by Northisnotup



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Tumblr Prompt, Wrong Twin, and that's bad, lup IS still a lich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 05:18:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11639712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northisnotup/pseuds/Northisnotup
Summary: Thrillingest asked for "☆ - for a kiss on the neck"





	Quite Continental

When strong hands stroke along Lup’s shoulders she leans into them with a throaty hum, not bothering to stop stirring the batter in her bowl.

When chilly, almost frigid, lips kiss down her neck, she squeaks. “’Ello, love.” a bad accent croons and nope, nah, hard no Lup has to stop this immediately. 

“Wrong Taaco twin there, loverboy!” She jumps back, brandishing her wooden spoon like a weapon. 

Whoa, the Grim Reaper is....extremely attractive. This is an entirely new definition for Tall, Dark and Handsome. Lup is not...jealous, per say. Because Barry is her desert island guy and given fifty years and the literal apocalypse she’s chosen him over and over and would never change that. But, damn, go Taako. 

“Wrong....twin?” The accent is mysteriously gone and Grim and Gorgeous is looking at her intensely. “You don’t happen to be Lup, do you?”

She nods. He sighs. 

They square off, awkwardly. Lup still, by about a hundred technicalities, a lich with a rather large death count, (who attempted to Scorching Ray this guy back to the astral plane last they met) and Bony-but-Beautiful still an actual servant of the Raven Queen. 

“Lup Taaco, you know, I really hoped that it was one of those ‘same name, no relation,’ sort of situations.” He smiles a little sadly, a lot awkwardly, shrugging one shoulder in a ‘what can you do?’ kind of gesture she does appreciate. 

Based on her trapped-in-a-magical-umbrella accidental eavesdropping, it’s not like he wanted to become a interplanar bounty hunter anymore than she wanted to get trapped in an endless cycle of death. 

(Well, kinda, the lich thing was very intentional.) 

“Yeah, we’re kinda like pringles, my man, can’t have just one.” She tries for a Magnus like friendly-nonthreatening type of tone and can hear herself miss by several miles. Ugh, she sounds like her brother.   
Weirdly, it makes him flinch. 

Ravishing Reaper waves a hand at the cluttered kitchen table Taako keeps around mostly to collect junk and then throw that junk in a big pile when he wants it. “You know, you hold the second highest bounty I have ever seen.” He says it conversationally, like he admires it. Lup doesn’t hesitate to roll her eyes but takes a seat anyway. “After Merle fucking Highchurch that is. Uh, I’m not really sure what the status of your bounty would be, though.” 

“Oh?” Lup twirls her wooden spoon, licking at the batter every other turn to keep her hands busy. Her neck is still a mass of goosebumps she wants to rub at til it feels warm, like the rest of her skin. 

“Uh,” Devastating Destroyer of Worlds looks a little lost. “As an emissary of Istus, your bounty is unenforceable, thanks to the agreement from Istus and the Raven Queen, but, you’re also a lich, Lup. And that’s bad.” 

“Hm, okay, I do see your point, and to counter that point,” Lup can’t help but smirk, “you take care of the whole lichs-get-stitches thing and I don’t tell my brother you macked on me, m’kay?” 

Death-Becomes-Him is so blanches so hard he loses his skin. 

Literally, his handsome visage melts away into a robed skeleton with flaming eyes who looks like he wants to clutch at his non-existent pearls. “You’d, uh, tell Taako?” 

“And honey, I would embellish.” Lup purrs, playing it up for all she is worth. “Unless, you could oh, pull some strings? For your scary wizard boyfriend’s only sister?” 

“B-boyfriend?” 

Oh, there are just layers and layers to the Story behind these reactions, and Lup wants every juicy detail. “You seem kinda nervous there, Grimly, is my brother not treating you right?” She bats her eyelashes, smiling her most inviting smile. 

The Bewitching Bounty-hunter seems to stare through her for a moment, her flirtations lost on him. “When we first met, I cause Merle Highchurch to lose his arm and Taako subsequently cast Evard’s Black Tentacles on me.” 

No single force in the universe could stop Lup from losing her shit at his blank, matter of fact statement. Her wooden spoon falls to the ground, splattering both of their legs in batter as she heaves for breath through her gut-wrenching giggles. Of course. Of-fucking-course, oh gods, that is so good. 

The door to their living quarters slides open just as she is beginning to get a grip on herself, and she hear’s her brother’s annoyed voice “Um, what? No. Hard no. Babe, Krav, my man, we are not doing this, this is a bad goof, sorry hon, we’re not there yet.” 

“He thought I was you!” She manages to force out, her lungs and abs beginning to protest her snorting, hiccuping laughter. 

Taako’s mouth drops open, the picture of offended surprise. “What? But I am so much better dressed than you!” He shrieks, like the fucking gay harpy he is. Gods she loves him so much. “You wear jorts!” He howls.


End file.
